I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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