Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Randomize
