Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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