Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
