with your own penis?
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
You can't motorboat a personality
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
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