Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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