i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
