Cold hands, warm shart.
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
You can't motorboat a personality
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
