Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize
