Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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