Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Randomize
