hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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