if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
