If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
