Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
