Can i not drive my cunt home
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
