...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Randomize
