i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
