So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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