I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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