His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
