It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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