so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
