I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
