Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Randomize
