I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
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