That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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