this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
