Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
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