I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
