Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
