All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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