Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
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