Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
