smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
When did we convert life to cartoon?
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
