is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
