I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
