a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Couch. On fire.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
