"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Randomize
