Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
