Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Randomize
