I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
