apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Randomize
