gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize
