i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
