she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
