i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
it glows. i had to have it.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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