Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
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