So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Randomize
