I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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