Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
